Sock-a-holic’s Anonymous

Hi, I’m KP, and I’m a sock-a-holic.

Hi KP…

Yeah. Not even kidding. I have problems. Most of them start with the word “sock” and end with the word “yarn”.

All my other problems start with “Boys” and end with “are dumb” but that’s a whole ‘nother story that we don’t want to talk about because this blog is a happy place and I DON’T WANT THAT $%*& IN MY HAPPY PLACE!!!!!! *remembers to breathe*

Ahem. Socks.

See, this? This is why I knit…so I don’t stab people (dumb boys) with….well…my dpn’s.

SO. Socks. Really now.

Last week I finished one pair…that I had started pre-Christmas knitting

I say they match as long as they are from the same ball of yarn, ok?

…my yarn from The Loopy Ewe arrived *SQUEE*

SQUISH!!!

….and I started and finish one sock out of my freaking favorite UPP colorway EVER.

Sock ONE!

ALSO…got to see UPP’s new roving fresh out of the dye-pot

Unplanned Peacock Merino Top...in Robin's Egg (I think)

Unplanned Peacock roving in I forget what colorway (BAD PR PERSON, BAD!!)

and did some spinning of a sample so we will have that to take to Pittsburgh next month.

UPP roving spun up.

But to my main point…

All I want to do…is knit socks. I’ve officially decided that all socks (excluding ones I wear running/working out…because come on now, that is dishonor to the yarn) should be hand knit. ALL socks. All of them. And all shoes should be designed to show off my hand-knit socks.

Now I’m not big in to patterns…I doubt you will ever catch me making any fancy shmancy lace socks. It’s just not me. I’ve birthed a 99lb calf before, ok? Lace and I just don’t go together. I’m sorry. No offense to all of you out there who love lace and love fancy socks. It’s just NOT me. Quite frankly I think it reminds me of really bad childhood memories of mom dressing me up for church and other occasions in lacy ruffled socks that itched and did not allow for playing tag…maybe I should see a Cogknitive Therapist for some help on that issue…but for now, knitting lace socks (or really lace anything) just isn’t going to happen.

I’m a plain vanilla sock type girl. I start with my ribbing…knit down the leg…turn my heel (heel flap) and rock out till the toe…so if you want to see fancy socks, don’t look at my blog. But if you want rocking socks in awesome colors…keep clicking. 🙂

I’m so sock-obsessed that I’ve memorized kitchener. Not even kidding. I can kitchener in my sleep…not that I recommend it…the last few stitches end up a bit wonky and sometimes things fall off the needles….

But really. I…knit socks. A lot. The same pattern. Over. And over. And over. And I’m NOT tired of it!!!!!! What is wrong with me?!?!

Personally, I blame the sock yarn makers.

I mean…what other weights of yarn can you pick up, right off the shelf, and know that you have ONE WHOLE PROJECT in your hands? You already know it’s the right amount of yarn…you know what needles will work…you know what patterns even! And don’t even get me started on the colors. I swear, no yarn is ever as pretty as sock yarn.

*holds up a skein of sock yarn*

See? IT WILL BE SOCKS! I know this. I know I have enough yarn. I know I won’t run out (unless I knit for a big-footed person…which I don’t know if I will ever attempt again) and I know it will not make me go batshit crazy.

Granted I could make a nice shawl with my sock yarn…I could make a baby sweater…but I lose things off my shoulders that aren’t tied on…and I don’t have babies (boys are dumb and evil) so that kind of rules that out.

I may try a shawl…there are some pretty shawl pins that I’m told will prevent the slippage…but…I’m also messy and somewhat accident prone. I have horrid visions of the edge of the shawl getting sucked in to something…perhaps the conveyor belt at the grocery store…and me getting pulled right in with it…flailing about with my apples tossed in the air and my hand-knit-sock-clad feet over my head and the handsome man (who I will now never have a chance with) behind me backing slowly away…(running)…so really I just don’t know if I’m up to shawls yet.

So for now…I shall stick to socks. They are safe.

Yeah.

Socks.