I need to confess my knitterly-sins.
But don’t you look at me like that!!! You know you’ve done it too!!!!
You know how when your family/friend/co-worker/auto mechanic finds out that you knit…they always say one of two things….either “That’s so cool, I want to learn to do that” or “That looks really hard” and this statement, no matter which it is, is inevitably followed by “You should knit me a ________.”
Yeah. You know that conversation.
So let’s say this person is someone close enough to you that they might actually deserve a knitted gift. Let’s say they are a close family friend. We’ll call her Jane. So Jane tells you how pretty your knitting is…and that she’d love a hat. But then…Jane says that one phrase that drives all knitters insane.
Jane says “But I’m allergic to wool.”
Yeah. She said it. You heard that. She’s allergic. ALLERGIC. Mhmm. Yeah. You know what’s going through your head. You know you are sitting there thinking that Jane probably has never felt the soft kiss of merino. You’re betting your tape measure that Jane has only experienced itchy store-bought machine-knit things or, heaven forbid, is thinking of her grandma’s itchy acrylic crocheted afghan…and making a horrible mistake.
So what’s a knitter to do? Do you knit her something with cotton, or God-forsaken squeaky acrylic??
I’ll tell you right now…this is where I become a very bad knitter. Telling me you’re allergic to wool, without any supporting stories or evidence…will almost ensure that I will knit you something out of wool.
I mean come ON, have you people FELT Malabrigo?!?! How can anyone resist THAT??? Or say that it’s iiiiitchy.
My aunt told me she was allergic to wool.
Guess what she got for Christmas.
Yeah. Hand knit socks.
And has she mentioned a mysterious rash? Noooo. Did she wear them all day on Christmas? Yeeeees.
Allergic my ass.
There. I’ve confessed. I’m a knaughty knitter and I’m proud of it.
Don’t judge me. You know you’ve slipped someone some Malabrigo too!!!