Dear Downstairs Neighbor, Part 2

Dear Downstairs Neighbor,

There’s a lot of thumping going on. At first I thought someone had an “awesome” new car stereo. Then I realized I was sadly wrong…because no one plays with a car stereo for 2 hours.

I’ve gathered you have surround sound. That’s cool. And I also have figured out you like Call of Duty. Personally, I’m not a huge fan, but I get that it’s a guy thing. I’m glad that you have hobbies.

I know it seems creepy that I know this much about your likes and dislikes, but you see, you have your CoD turned up so loud, I know you’re playing the Modern Warfare 3 version and are on the Negotiator mission. And you just died again. I know this because my couch just vibrated so hard my cat fell off the back.

It’s not really the sound of the bloodbath that’s pouring through my floors, but the ridiculous vibrations that keep coming and going as you attempt to bomb the crap out of an imaginary nation and win an imaginary war. But again, each to his own (made up imaginary crap that one should really out grow by the time that one gets a wife or at least play at a lower decibel that doesn’t disturb ones neighbors upstairs furniture at 11pm). 

So it would be really great if you could keep your warfare in your own living room. I didn’t sign up for this war, and I’m a girl so you can’t draft me. If I keep hearing the sounds of shock and awe from below and can’t go to bed soon, I’ll take that as free reign to take up the violin and practice directly over your bedroom at 5:30am.

Love and Loudness,
~The person above you who DOES own a violin and DOESN’T know how to play it well at all.

P.S. – The next time your dog barks to let me know you’re not home, I’m taking that as code for “Time to let myself in to your apartment and remove all connecting wires between your Xbox and the speakers”


Dear Downstairs Neighbor

Welcome to a new segment. We shall call it “Dear Downstairs Neighbor”. Enjoy.

Dear Downstairs Neighbor,

Your dog barks. A lot. She has separation anxiety. I know this from my years working at a veterinarians office and also experiencing it with my own dog. I, however, realized my dog was freaking out during my absence, and did a little light googling, and fixed that within a few weeks.

You…do not seem to realize your dog is stressed out beyond all reason. Your dog begins to bark about 2.5 seconds after you leave your residence, and continues to bark and howl until you return. Recently this behavior has escalated until the dog is scratching at whatever contraption you have it confined in. I do approve your use of crating or containing your dog for her safety during your outings, but you have to see the obvious signs of digging and scratching as I can HEAR THIS GOING ON from a floor above you.

My suggestion to you is to help your dog through this. It is possible to remedy her stress. You just have to work on it.

Should you choose to continue to let your dog bark, I have formulated a polite note explaining that your dog barks. Constantly. This will be on your door the next time it happens. I’ll put it there when you’re away from home. Your dog will tell me when it’s time.

Oh, and she tried to bite the face off my dog the other day when your dim-witted new wife was too busy talking on the phone to hold on to the leash and your dog got away from her. I am not impressed by your mating selection or your dog rearing capabilities.
Love and stomping,

-The people upstairs who like it quiet at 4am