Dear Downstairs Neighbor,
There’s a lot of thumping going on. At first I thought someone had an “awesome” new car stereo. Then I realized I was sadly wrong…because no one plays with a car stereo for 2 hours.
I’ve gathered you have surround sound. That’s cool. And I also have figured out you like Call of Duty. Personally, I’m not a huge fan, but I get that it’s a guy thing. I’m glad that you have hobbies.
I know it seems creepy that I know this much about your likes and dislikes, but you see, you have your CoD turned up so loud, I know you’re playing the Modern Warfare 3 version and are on the Negotiator mission. And you just died again. I know this because my couch just vibrated so hard my cat fell off the back.
It’s not really the sound of the bloodbath that’s pouring through my floors, but the ridiculous vibrations that keep coming and going as you attempt to bomb the crap out of an imaginary nation and win an imaginary war. But again, each to his own (made up imaginary crap that one should really out grow by the time that one gets a wife or at least play at a lower decibel that doesn’t disturb ones neighbors upstairs furniture at 11pm).
So it would be really great if you could keep your warfare in your own living room. I didn’t sign up for this war, and I’m a girl so you can’t draft me. If I keep hearing the sounds of shock and awe from below and can’t go to bed soon, I’ll take that as free reign to take up the violin and practice directly over your bedroom at 5:30am.
Love and Loudness,
~The person above you who DOES own a violin and DOESN’T know how to play it well at all.
P.S. – The next time your dog barks to let me know you’re not home, I’m taking that as code for “Time to let myself in to your apartment and remove all connecting wires between your Xbox and the speakers”