Knit One

*dramatic entrance*

*trips over stash and skids across the floor*

Ahem.

Hello. *waves*

I’m the Knitter in Pink…or KP for short. How’s it going? How’s everyone doing tonight? How’s that Christmas knitting coming??!?!

*dodges flying DPN’s and icy-cold glares*

Yeah, I know. Me too.

Why do we do this, guys? WHY do we insist on trying to MAKE presents when buying presents is a heck of a lot faster and sometimes cheaper!?! I mean come on. I could have bought my niece and nephew a stuffed animal for less than it cost me to make them hats out of my hand painted Cascade Eco, am I right?! Of course I am.

But yet we do this. We knit. For other people. For Christmas.

Personally, I justify my Christmas Knitting this way: I’d rather spend money on yarn and spend time knitting than take money out of the yarn budget for presents for other people and have no fiber enjoyment for 6 months because I’m broke from buying everyone a twenty dollar alarm clock picture frame hair dryer that they will break in ten minutes anyway.

I mean hellooooooooo. I can spend time playing with THEIR present. Ok granted sometimes…I want to chuck their present across the room and never look at it again, let alone pick it up and finish it…but for the most part, I knit presents because…hey…I get to knit! And I can also tell non-knitters that I need to knit through things like meetings and boring conversations and car rides because it’s for a PRESENT. I’ve learned that if I tell people I’m making a PRESENT they take my “odd behavior” much more seriously in the hopes that some day a “present” will be for them.

Ha. No. I’ve seen how you throw all your laundry in a pile and don’t sort it. I know you. You don’t know what “hand wash” even means. Let alone what “cold water” would be.

You? You do not get socks.

No.

Knitted gifts are often a one-time deal. You may get something small…a simple stockinette scarf or a quick hat to test your ability to care for knitted goods. (The friend who felted the baby blanket I knit….oh she’s on shaky ground) If you cannot prove your adherence to the rules of wool, then you will NOT be getting another knitted gift. I’m not wasting my yarn on you!

Well at least not until I run out of other people to knit for, or until I have zero money to buy you a gift with and therefore have to give you something made of yarn because…well…I spent all your present money on yarn, ok??!?!

So this year I’ve got around 15 knitted gifts to make. Here’s the run-down.

  1. Hat for Nephew – DONE
  2. Hat for Niece – DONE
  3. Scarf for Cousin 1 – DONE
  4. Socks for Aunt S – DONE
  5. Hat for Aunt C – DONE (slightly large, mildly concerned)
  6. Hat for B’s son – DONE (was supposed to be birthday present. Forgot to bring it to him. Calling it Christmas)
  7. Shawl for Mom – On Needles
  8. Hat for Cousin 2 – On Needles
  9. Scarf for C – On Needles
  10. Socks for L – On Needles (Had completed one sock. Was too small. Had to rip HALF of sock out. Don’t want to talk about it. Very painful.)
  11. Hat for Mom’s Friend (Because mom thinks knitted gifts just fall out of my closet willy-nilly and so she told me to make 3 hats for kids she knows. HA!) – On Needles (Begrudgingly)
  12. Hat for K – Not Started
  13. Cowl for Aunt Y – Not Started
  14. Hat for H – Not Started
  15. Hat for B – Not Started
  16. Hat for D – (Done, too small, must re-do. May scrap altogether)

Oh my dear sweet Lime and Violet (how I miss them!). I may not make it.

I’m going to go hide in my bed and weep now. Send malabrigo. May your knitted gift less be less daunting. Addi Turbo’s be with you.

*collapses*

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3 thoughts on “Knit One

  1. This post cracked me up! It’s so nice to knit for people for the holidays – but the stress of getting it all done is absurd. Next year, I definitely need to start knitting holiday gifts in January. But wait – don’t we say that every year?

  2. Hilarious — well done. If I had your list I’d be panicking right now. Well, I am panicking. Have 2 afghans far from completion. In denial while blog surfing!!

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